Why My Boss Hates Me
This is a section that I have dedicated to DC
about the different things I do to
piss him off, disappoint, or embarrass him.
Each week, or more frequently, I will post
and/or list the reasons why my boss hates me.
Feel free to email me your own
"Why My Boss Hates Me"
stories about how you are a horrible employee
or pictures of your boss, like I have posted below...
Here it goes:
March 7, 2013
As most of you know, I'm not the smartest tool in the shed. Especially when it comes to remembering the band memebers of the songs that we play. So my friend DC had to make sure...
December 7, 2012
Today I decided to play a prank on DC. It wasn't really a prank, I just wanted to see what he would do. AKA I wanted to annoy him. So there's a picture in the studio in a frame of me and Kennedy, so I put it on his desk so he can look at his two favorite employees all day while he works....
I came back into the studio not 10 minutes later.... he threw it on the couch. He hates us.
December 4, 2012
As everyone knows, our good friends at SPOT Magazine has done an outstanding job on this months issue. We happen to be on the cover AND each have a half a page interview from each of us. DC has a whole page because apparently he's the most important (not). Anyway, I had seven questions and he had a whole page. Apparently because I used his name eight times in seven questions, and he used my name none in his whole page, I love him. I don't think it means I "love" him, I think it just means he hates me...
November 27, 2012
Today is a rare day. And a first for me, DC, and 99x. Last night was the Sevendust show at Dixie Roadhouse and we all got a little too loose and well, drunk. I being the responsible one FOR ONCE, left halfway through Sevendust's set so that I could get some sleep and be at work bright and early. My friend on the other hand, he stayed out until the bar closed. He won't tell me what happened, but it involved a cop, throw up, and a cougar molestation incident. So, I got food poisoning last night after I left Dixie and was up all night barfing. I ended up coming to work 10 minutes EARLY (5:50am). I usually show up around 6:15/ 6:20 just in time for our first break even though I am suppose to be here at 6:00, which is when DC gets here. TODAY, however, I was early. And I'm sitting around waiting.... waiting.... waiting. 6:10 rolls around and I feel like something is fishy. My friend isn't here yet. 6:20 comes and I finally decide to text him:
SO, for the FIRST TIME, my boss sucks.
November 26, 2012
Tonight is the Sevendust show and I'm super excited. I get to get all dressed up to get sloppy drunk with my friends and watch some awesome live music. As most girls do, we like to coordinate outfits with eachother according to weather, what kind of place you're going to, etc. So, because I was flying solo for the night, I decide to text DC to see what his woman was wearing. Although when I got there she totally agreed that that is what girls DO when they go out, DC was a little less supportive.
Fail. My boss hates me.
October 17, 2012
Well, today sucks. I'm hungover and tired and super hungry. I asked one of my co-workers that comes in later than me to bring me a sausage McMuffin from McDonalds when she comes to work. I ASSUMED that she would automatically get me AND DC a sausage McMuffin, since they are our favorites. She ends up bringing just one and DC comes into the studio with half of it gone already and says, "Today, I am going to teach you a hard life lesson friend... home team." He then devoured my McMuffin. I guess I have to get him one next time... I hate today. I'm still hungry.
October 8, 2012
Mondays are always hard for he 99x staff, especially DC and I. We are not morning people, but in different ways. I am either very loopy and giggly or I am a complete possum and hide in my oversized hoodie and bitch amount nonsense. DC, however, on Monday mornings is completely intollerable of everything I do and continuously looks at me like I'm a complete moron. Today, we went to step outside for our morning smoke and as we're walking outside I am mumbling stupid things that DC cannot comprehend (today is a loopy giggly day for me). He said he was going to have a meltdown today over something and I told him that I would be the cream to hold him together as if he were a gingerbread house. After he exclaimed, "WHAT the HELL are you talking about," I then went on to explain that I am deeply sorry for saying weird things and to not pay attention to anything I say today. I then made a very valid point in my opinion: With all of the weird things I say, can you even IMAGINE the things that go on in my head that I DON'T say? I said, "can you even imagine BEING me?" My friend replied with, "If I were you, I would wake up in the morning and put on a helmet and padded armor and then go lick a window." Implying that I am 'half retarded' DC responds with, "Half? I'm pretty sure whole is the word you were looking for..." Happy Monday. My boss hates me.
Septemeber 28, 2012
SO I went out last night and got a little crazy, knowing I would be a complete mess today. My friend DC could not handle me this morning. Not only does he not understand my fascination with McDonald's Monopoly but I have been running around screaming, throwing a bouncy ball I found under the table all around the room, among other annoying things. He has now threatened to put soap in my mouth 3 times and then all of a sudden started being nice to me. So I asked, "Wow friend, you're being awfully sweet to me," and he responds with, "I'm always nice to people on their last day of work...." I'm probably getting fired today.
September 20, 2012
This week DC is sick. And that means he's hella cranky. So I decided to be a good employee and do some homework. Well, he then snatched my book out of my hands and took it outside to inspect what I was studing. He then threw it on the ground and walked back inside...
September 11, 2012
So after going out to the bar with DC and friends last night, I'm a litte slugglish. Thank god I have a great school schedule today.... and ofcourse Friday.
August 31, 2012
Well last night was the Nonpoint show at Dixie Roadhouse which I did not make it to (because I ACTUALLY went to class). But my friend DC went. And as usual even though he has to work every morning at 5am, he proceeded to get extremely loose. Expecting this, I offered to bring him McDonald's because a sausage McMuffin is the only thing to help my friend get right on days like this. But ofcourse, I screwed that up too....
August 30, 2012
I started off the morning with an exceptionally large cup of coffee. And the way the day usually goes after that is DC will get so mad at me that I am either dancing, singing, running around, or just plain annoying him. And then he sends me home early because he is done dealing with me. Today, following the coffee, I started singing the "Three Best Friends" song from The Hangover but instead I sang "The Two Best Friends" in a high-pitched loud voice down the hallway. As we are walking out for our morning cigarette break, I told him that today was going to be "Serenade You Thursday" and he quickly told me that, "No, it wasn't." So, already my friend is hating my guts. As we are standing outside we see a bird fly overhead. DC says, "wow, I've never seen a lone goose before." The bird he thought was a goose was this....
He dosen't believe me that it's called a white ibis.
August 23, 2012
So, I've been slacking lately. Actually, I've been pretty well behaved. Which is why I have nothing to report on. Then we went on vacation for a week and now we're BACK and I'm ready to do some actual work. And now that i'm in school again I will be acting up at work to make up for DC making me go to school. We did win best morning show in the SPOT Magazine Awards so that was good. At leat I know that some people like us. I do have some things to complain about though. Why is it that guys like to "poke" me on Facebook? Like, do you really think I'm going to respond to you poking me? I think it's creepy and weird. Also, today I bought DC and I some lotion because we are both sunburned, and apparently there is a girly smell to it. Now he's upset at me for making him smell like "a stripper" as he described it. Fail. Another fail of the day was that DC apparently doesn't approve on my shorts today. He says they are too short and they are too high wasted. I tried to explain to him that the 80's high wasted pants are in now and he says he hates it. I argued that it keeps my love handles in check and he just walked away from me, as usual, when we get into a discussion that he doesn't like.
July 4, 2012
Friends, I apologize. I haven't been on here in almost a month. I do have to confess that I have actually been trying to be a good employee. I've been showering, coming in on time (kinda), and staying late to help my friend Kennedy with work. But today, I fell short. Instead of my 7:07am arrival time, my ETA was 7:45am. I came bearing gifts as usual for DC so as to distract him from my tardiness. I brought Red Bull and crackers (his favorite kind, peanut butter). He was too cranky for my gifts to have an effect because he came into his office and it was 63 degrees this morning. Which is even cold for HIM. So leadless to say, I am in trouble for being late and wearing my PJ's to work. Again.
June 5, 2012
DC felt really bad yesterday for making me hold the sign on 41, so he promised me presents. When I got to work today this was sitting on his desk for me. All he said was, "There's an ice cream sandwich in the freezer, also". This is what being a girl is all about. Getting whatever you want, and being spoiled.
June 4, 2012
Monday is not my best day of the week. None of them are, but Monday is the worst out of the 5. So in my dirty wife beater, I stumbled into work. And left the studio when I wasn't suppose to... apparently. I think he did the break early, but we'll never know. Either way, I was punished by having to stand out by 41 for 20 minutes. I hate life today.
May 30, 2012
Today is our weekly meeting. And I am in no mood, as usual, to come up with good ideas for the station. So, instead Kennedy and I start fooling around and annoying DC...
May 29, 2012
Since I've been on this new diet, I've been trying to cut back on all of my energy drinks. So coffee is my next best bet. But unfortunately for all of my coworkers, I've realized it makes me so much more hyper. So trying to make up for making DC so mad yesterday, I drew him a nice picture. He said he hated it and threw it in the trash.... I retrieved it and hung it up.
May 28, 2012
Happy Memorial Day! I am at work. And to make it to work at all, I had to have three cups of coffee. And since everyone else in the building is off today but me and DC, I had no one to occupy me other than DC so I followed him around all morning until he finally exclaimed that I give him high blood pressure and that I am the worst person in his life, and as he was leaving the studio, he grabbed all of my stuff off of the couch and threw it on the floor. Job well done today, Gab. This is what coming in on holidays is all about.
May 25, 2012
Friday is always my favorite day of the week, obviously. So after a Red Bull, and two cups of coffee I decided to take the wheel in the studio. So first, I tried to annoy him by standing on the same side of the board as him, which I KNOW pisses him off.
When that didn't phase him like it usually does, I stood in front of the studio board and made DC sit in my seat (wearing my head phones). He didn't say two words the entire time he had my Mini Mouse head phones on. What a great way to start the weekend.
May 21, 2012
I started off the morning on the right foot today. I was 6 minutes early for work, and 25 minutes earlier than I have ever actually arrived at work. So after checking his imaginary watch several times, DC complimented me on such an outstanding job. Then, I ACTUALLY did a good job with my Gabbi's Retarded Sports Minute, and DC was blown away again. But then, the caffeine kicked in. And my friend Kennedy got to work. And then it was over. We started running around as usual and harrassing DC to the point that he shut his door of his office on us. Then I continued to sing to him from beyond the door and he paid me a dollar to leave the building for the day and to not come back until tomorrow morning. Happy Monday, everyone!
May 18, 2012
Today I made my boss very happy for a change. Usually, I know that Thursdays and Fridays he's usually hungover (as am I) so to make the morning go a little smoother, I surprise him with a nice sausage McMuffin. He usually takes off the top bun and throws it away and enjoys just the sausage, cheese, and bottom bun. So, I decided to ask the drive thru lady to simply take the top bun off of my McMuffin. She was confused, as exspected, but then gave me the McMuffin in a Nugget box with no top. To my bosses surprise, I had outdone myself. He was beyond elated.
May 17, 2012
Well, Friday was DC's wedding. Which I am surprised that I even was invited. As predicted, I got extremely hammered and made a complete fool of myself. Apparently there are pictures of my down piece while dancing, and some of me falling over. But the worst part is that I got so drunk that I decided to fight with my tail light of my car..... a $100 drunken mistake. And my boss is very disappointed.
May 9, 2012
So, today is my second to last day at work for a week because Friday I am off for DC's wedding. So, around Tuesday (yesterday) afternoon (as in late morningish), I had already shut it down. I am totally mentally checked out. But unfortunately we have a meeting today that I am in no way prepared for. So, instead of bringing good ideas to the meeting, I just took notes about everything we talked about that wasn't important.
May 8, 2012
Well, a while ago Kennedy and I discovered an IPhone app where you upload a picture of your face and it shows you a picture of a celebrity that you look similar to. The problem is, that it's not very accurate. You can upload different pictures of yourself and you'll get something different every time. So, while I have been annoying DC today, I decided to use his picture. He was so pissed when I showed everyone this.
May 4, 2012
DC is cranky today because someone (NOT me) pooped in the bathrooms directly across from his office. And it smells horrible. So I helped him out and put candles everywhere. Today I am being a good employee :)
May 2, 2012
DC is sick this week. He is no fun. And cranky. And we have a meeting today and I have no material prepared, as usual.
April 30, 2012
TODAY is DC's dirty 30 birthday! And our birthday present worked out perfect. Our birthday surprise to him was to create a shirt with his face on it... and make everyone in the building wear one all day. So, needless to say he was more than surprised and red faced when everyone came into the studio wearing this.
April 27, 2012
Today is the final day that we are putting together DC's birthday surprise for Monday. Kennedy and I have emailed the whole building about it, it's going to be great. I told DC not to go on Kennedy's computer this morning because I didn't want him to see anything about his surprise. So, trying to get me to confess, he dragged me down the hallway a foot from the ground by the hood of my jacket. I still didn't tell. The things I do for a good prank.
April 20, 2012
Today is the day I get to pick up my new van from Gill, our mechanic. I then had to go straight to Treasure Chest for our 4/20 remote. So, right after I got off air I left to run some errands before I had to work the rest of the day. DC told me to be back at "1 on the dot" and me being me, I was running a little late. I texted him at 1:03 and said, "wait for me! i'm almost there, don't leave without me!" and he responded with "too late". It turns out he was just messing with me and was waiting at the station for me as promised. By this time I am very cranky and irritated so I choose to sit in the back of his car as we are going to pick up my van. I then proceed to lay down in the back because I was too cranky to sit in the front seat with him.
"Why the eff are you laying down in the back of my car?" - DC
April 9, 2012
Today is starting out rough. The problem is that I have already consumed a Red Bull BEFORE I even arrived at work which means it is starting to kick in earlier than normal (DC hasn't finished his yet mind you, so he's getting extremely annoyed with my giggling). So as i'm rambling on about some movie he's never seen and telling him about my weekend (seeing Titanic 3D...) He all of a sudden in mid sentence gets up and says, "I'm leaving. You need 3 minutes to get yourself together". And walks out of the studio.... It's only 7:30am. More to follow when my friend Kennedy gets here...
April 5, 2012
I went out last night so to start off the morning, I am hungover and a little slow. On the bright side, I was like 30 minutes earlier than I usually am to work (which is actually on time for once) so DC almost had a heart attack. I'm getting a little better about learning about sports but I'm still a little clueless. And it annoys the hell out of DC. But the biggest thing that I did today that he hates me for is that recently I've been spending a lot of time at the studio (actually coming into work), so naturally some of my personal belongings from home get left here on accident. Well, I have a nice collection going. Not only is the whole couch in the studio almost covered with my stuff but the production room, Kennedy's office that I have recently inhabited, has stuff all over "my" desk.... Red Bull cans, papers, stickers, trash, candy, etc. Everyone is getting sick of my messiness. ooooops
April 2, 2012
So today was a pretty good day. I bought DC a present of a little fish tank for his desk, he hated it. Then I ran around with Kennedy again to annoy him further. Finally, the highlight of my day, was teaching DC about the Jersey Turnpike. He hated everything about it because he doesn't like when I dance inappropriately around the office.....
March 30, 2012
So not only did I miss 4 days of work because of Bronchitis but today I am feeling better than ever on antibiotics and have annoyed my boss to the fullest. I wore a low cut shirt just to make him uncomfortable. It's national cleavage day, so it's not my fault. Also we had to prepare for our company picnic today, so i supervised DC to Publix to pick up some supplies. On our way there, I tried to explain to him how Twitter worked, which just thoroughly pissed him off. I explained that # is a hashtag not a pound button, among other social media trends. Then my friend KENNEDY came to work and it was all over from there. The two of us together annoy DC to no end. We ran around screaming and bearing our chests all over the office until we got a big "GET THE F*$K OUT OF MY OFFICE". Happy company picnic day :) and National Cleavage Day.
March 20, 2012
Today my best friend Kennedy came back from vacation! I was so excited I just couldn't wait for her to get to work so I could see someone other than DC for a change. When she finally showed up, it was around 10am and DC and I were just about to get off air. She passes by the studio door and I go running out after her just as DC turns my mic on.... If you weren't listening, he said he was going to fire me on air for running out when I was suppose to be doing my job. But hey, I'm still here another day :) but I guess I should stay in the studio until I'm dismissed from now on.
March 19, 2012
Today, DC and i were discussing "sexting" because neither of us were quite clear on what it exactly is. So as we were both going through our phones for dirty pictures that we could text to our significant others', DC realized he has more pictures of me on his phone than of his own wife (fully clothed ofcourse).... fail.
March 14, 2012
Today I came in less hung over than usual, so that was a plus. But it's because I drank yesterday from 2pm until i passed out at 11pm. I got so drunk on the beach that my family left me there, took my car, and never came back to get me. So me with a debit card alone on Fort Myers Beach is dangerous. I ended up spending the night at a friends house and getting my car in the morning. So, being late as usual I had to make up for it. I brought DC McDonald's breakfast and he completely forgot about me being 45 minutes late. We have a meeting today and I was suppose to think of 3 good ideas for the station.... I haven't thought of anything yet. He's going to be a little sore.
March 12, 2012
Today was a complete fail. I came into work still drunk from my best friend's 21st birthday party (at least I showed up was my argument to DC) and I was the earliest I've been to work in about a month; 15 minutes late instead of 30. I did a couple breaks with DC and then while he was doing Dumb Ass Trivia, I decided to lay down on the Mothership couch for a little bit. I also asked if we could do our show in the dark because the light was bothering my head too much which I was denied. What happened next I cannot feel worse about. I fell asleep through the rest of the morning show.... I woke up to Roger Marley laughing at me with some of our co-workers. DC avoided me the rest of the day. I am a failure.
March 7, 2012
Well, yesterday I just didn't show up to work. No phone call, no text. Just for no reason. I over slept. So today when i showed up for work at my usual 20 minutes late, he was less than pleased with me. My attire consisted of slippers also. Then I continued to disappoint him by telling him that I wanted to get my nose pierced today. That upset him to the point where he has stopped talking to me... we have a station meeting today. Wonder how that will go.
February 29, 2012
I haven't slept yet. Came straight to work. Hungover. With a black eye... DC obviously thought it was my boyfriend at first and I then told him I got into a bar fight... with boys. Not only am I unshowered, smelling like booze, but I have a nice shiner to show for it. Walking around the office today is a little awkward but hey, atleast I'm not in jail. Or dead.
January 13, 2012
Well, today started off rough. I haven't slept yet and I had to come in to do the morning show. So like any young American, I bought an energy drink and quickly consumed it. Long story short, my ADHD had a field day and wreaked havoc on the entire studio. First, I upset my boss by wearing a low cut shirt that he felt uncomfortable looking at, blaming my whorish actions on my influence Kennedy. Then proceeded to play the "Goin' Back To Whorin'" song which I posted on my Facebook for your enjoyment. As we are discussing my whorish antics, I then start spinning around in my chair in front of DC's desk (the energy drink has kicked in by now) and I accidentally start knocking things off his desk. In my hyper fit, I ended up breaking his file holder paper thingy. He then told me to leave his office before I am fired.... and it's only noon.
This is what it looked like before.
And now this is what it looks like.
I am a pile.
Also, this song rocks.
January 12, 2012
Today, I was suppose to come into work bright and early to turn in my time sheet. Instead, I had my friend Kennedy do it for me so I could sleep in. Sleeping in according to me means 3 in the afternoon apparently... which is when my boss DC finally figured out that I probably wasn't coming into work today. So he proceeds to comment on my Facebook photo. Here is the conversation:
"Way to show up for work today" - DC
"I know. I'm a failure." - Me
"What happened to "I'll be bright eyed and bushy tailed" - DC
"Well, at least this makes for good material for Why My Boss Hates Me" - Me
Moral of the story is, if you don't show up for work just because
you're still sleeping at 3 in the afternoon, your boss gets mad. Don't do that.
January 11, 2012
I came into the studio this week to announce that I would have more free time to work because I am taking off a semester from school. Chris asks why and I explain that there were transferring problems and that I would start back in the summer. While my boss is shaking his head in disgust and asking about my lack of hygiene, my friend Kennedy decides to point out the hickey on my neck. After this, a lecture ensues from my boss asking who the hickey was from, why my life is going down hill, and that I probably will be fired if things continue on this path.